Really Talking to Your Parents

Talking to parents can be very difficult.  In fact, it can be more difficult to have a deep conversation if you’re really close to your parents, because frequent communication and closeness means that important subjects often get placed on the back burner, and patterns of communication take the place of authentic talks built from the ground up.  It takes effort to cut through normalcy and initiate difficult conversations, but it’s something that has to be done.

Not Wanting to Think About the End of It All

Not long ago, the New York Times ran an article about an attorney in Seattle who had never even thought about forming an estate plan until the issue was forced upon him by life circumstances.  At that point, the decision to formulate a plan involved a great deal of input from the attorney’s daughter—a woman who would certainly be influenced by the plan.  The moral of the story is that it’s incredibly easy to fail to plan . . . even for attorneys who are trained and understand the importance of establishing a comprehensive plan.

Reasons to Broach the Subject of Estate Planning

In the past few years, at least ten states investigated the non-payment of life insurance proceeds by some of the largest insurers in the country.  Several states (including Florida and California) even held public hearings on the issue.  This leads to an obvious question: How can insurance companies get away without paying the proceeds of life insurance policies?  The answer is simply that many beneficiaries don’t know they’re beneficiaries and, therefore, don’t demand payment from the insurance companies.  This is one reason why you need to know (i) if your parents have an estate plan, and (ii) what that plan looks like.  Your parents worked hard to pay premiums and create real wealth.  It would be a shame for that wealth to go somewhere other than where your parents intend it.

If that’s not enough, it is very, very sad to think that more than $32 billion of unclaimed property is currently held by state treasurers.  The property consists largely of cash held in bank accounts, and sooner or later, it’s likely that the cash will end up belonging to the state.  You don’t want that to happen to your property, nor do your parents.  Trust me.

The Essential (but often forgotten) Documents

Estate planning attorneys often talk about the importance of wills and revocable living trusts.  We’re no exception to that rule.  Those documents are critical.  What’s often overlooked, however, is discussion of “letters of instruction.”  A letter of instruction provides the executor of an estate with critical information.  A letter of instruction will ensure that the executor has the names and contact information of attorneys, accountants, and financial advisors.  While wills should be stored in safe places such as safety deposit boxes, a letter of instruction should be more readily accessible, particularly if it contains instructions on funeral arrangements.  A letter of instruction makes sure that wills and revocable trusts are found, and it goes a long way toward making sure that wishes are fulfilled.

Essentially, a letter of instruction is one last chance for your parents to tell you what to do!

Getting the Plan in Place

Your parents worked hard to acquire their assets, and they should be made aware of the consequences of failing to plan adequately.  It’s not a matter of selfishness on your part to mention estate planning to them.  Rather, it’s a matter of doing what must be done . . . as a family.  You and your parents want to know that their life’s work will benefit your family first and foremost.

As a Personal Family Lawyer®, I can further advise you on all your options and make things as easy as possible for your family during a Family Wealth Planning Session.  If you would like to have a talk about estate planning for your family, call our office today to schedule a time for us to sit down and talk.

To your family’s health, wealth and happiness!

David Feakes

P.S.  Want to get started on the most important planning you’ll ever do for your family?  Give our office a call at (978) 263-6900 to get started.  You’ll be so glad you did.

David Feakes is the owner of The Parents Estate Planning Law Firm, PC – a law firm for families in the Acton, Massachusetts area.  David helps parents protect the people they love the most.  If you would like to receive David’s exclusive, free report, “Six Major Mistakes To Avoid When Choosing An Estate Planning Attorney,”  you can get it right here.

The following two tabs change content below.

The Parents Estate Planning Law Firm, PC

At The Parents Estate Planning Law Firm, we answer your questions at your convenience; we stay in frequent communication; and we meet to discuss changes in life circumstances and in the law to ensure that your assets are protected.

Latest posts by The Parents Estate Planning Law Firm, PC (see all)


The Parents Estate Planning Law Firm, PC is a unique estate planning law firm serving families in Massachusetts. Our team is committed to helping parents at all stages make sure their loved ones are completely protected if the unexpected happens, while making things as easy as possible for their families.

31 Nagog Park, Suite 301, Acton, MA 01720 | 978-263-6900 | [email protected] |